for the last one
there are tiny cuts on my fingers. i don’t know
how i got them, can’t remember or don’t want to,
but it’s terrifying that one day you will need
answers. you haven’t asked yet, though, because
you haven’t seen me trying to hide (because
you don’t know me, not really).
i like to think i fascinate you. but then i am silent
and unforgiving and you don’t know my name.
in my dreams you do, though - you exist
and you realize that surface tension is my best
bet for sanity even though you can dive right
someday you will need to know this:
- i don’t know what to say and i never
will but if you need love letters i’m you girl - if you
need an obituary ask politely - a speech requires no
amount of coercion and a sonnet is the
one thing i can do to repay you.
- if you learn how to say my name correctly
you can reach into my chest and tug at my heart
until all the major arteries burst.
- give me five minutes and i will be OK if you
want me to be.
- if you want me to be OK do not ask me to smile.
- hold me and pretend you’ll never let go and
i will most likely follow you into the part of
the ocean all the light has disappeared into.
- i’m not OK.
- i want to be OK.
- there are scars i don’t know how i got, and
i want that to be all right.